Hey Hey Hey!
It’s been ages since I blogged, I know, I know, I pledge to be better (this won’t be like the last time, I promise) It’s not like I forgot about the blog completely oh- it’s just that I have been going through a tough time! With my hair, I mean. So many downs meyn, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t share my frustrations, and let you know what I’ve learnt.
My first lesson today is- DON’T BE SPONTANEOUS!
Okay, at the end of June, I was getting ready to start law school, so I was worried about how my haircare might fit into the schedule there- I wasn’t doing a lot, but rubbing my moisturiser into the fro, from the scalp to tips, trying to make sure almost every strand got some, took me about twenty minutes on the average. So I got lazy, and those twenty minutes seemed like such a long thing. I started using a moisturiser (Kids Organics Extra Virgin Oil + Shea butter moisturiser) because
It smelled great- much much nicer than my coconut oil. I’m going to try fractionated coconut oil next- I hope it smells better than this version, or that it really has no odour at all. The smell of my coconut oil is a little too nutty for me. And I mixed it with some drops of lavender oil as well- which I really do not like as well. Having the lavender around me makes me feel like a bluddy air freshener, and I hate it.
The moisturiser was light enough, and it made my hair soft enough to comb. It lasted longer, so I didn’t have to carry a spritzer around to wet my hair with.
So you see my friends, it was an easy road!! It was good enough, but I decided to go for an even easier road- I opted for a trim!
Well, going for the trim wasn’t exactly a decision motivated by laziness and impatience. I mentioned in a previous post how after my Big chop, I didn’t feel scared of the scissors anymore, and I was thinking about going even lower in the future- ya know, Amber Rose and ting.
This is where I say- WE CANNOT ALL BE AMBER ROSE, AT LEAST, NOT RIGHT NOW.
Went for the trim, and nah mehn, I wasn’t pleased with the results. I’m one of those people that you could call babyfaced, and immediately after my cut, I was reminded why. I looked like a child! I could be in high school, and get the children’s ticket at the movies, with no questions. I mentioned already, that I was starting law school- I didn’t want to be going to class and have people wonder if I’m sixteen or anything- and I didn’t want to feel the pressure to put a lot of makeup on every morning, so low cuts are ruled out of my future, until I’m thirty or forty or something. Maybe then, I wouldn’t cringe.
The low cut wasn’t the big problem. I just assumed that I could walk into any barbershop, since it was just a trim, what could go wrong? Any barber should be able to do that right? WRONG. I was so wrong! It didn’t look perfect to me, but I thought it was just typical me, worrying and imagining the “imperfection”. Every time I do something to my hair, it never looks good for like the next three days, I have to get used to my new face. So I went back to my place, and the gravity of what happened dawned on me when I hit the shower to wash my hair. I realised the hair was all chop-chop, different bits in different levels. Like some were high, some were low, and some bits were actually so so low that I could easily feel my scalp! Gasshhhh. Imagine my horror!! After my eight months of suffering, in a few minutes, some useless barber had set me all the way back! I was so upset, but what could I do? No amount of ranting or crying could get me my hair back! L
So the next day, I went to get my hair braided- I have braided three times since my chop, and it has been a totally different encounter from what I experienced with my relaxed/transitioning hair.
When I got lazy, I didn’t just rush to chop. One of my lovers, L, had really nice looong fat loose box braids so I loved em, and rushed to get mine done. BAD IDEA. In three, five days, my hair was all out, struggling to be free from every space possible. It was after I took em out that I went for the disastrous trim. After the trim, I went for box braids again, but this time, not as big. My hair still showed itself strong- I had to take the braids out after two weeks. Then I rocked a fringe, and then I did an invisible part.
What is it with the craze for invisible part in Nigeria though? I mean, I only tried it cos I wanted to hide my hair for a while- even they couldn’t wriggle out of that!! But so many people I saw with invisible partings, all of them with relaxed hair. IMO, Putting a little of your own hair over a weave is still the neater, more natural-looking way to go. No No No to the invisiblessss!!! And I’ve still not gotten over the fact that mine was done with bonding glue- glue on my head, will never feel right. And the parting got really dry, so dry and flaky, despite my attempts at oiling it with coconut oil. It didn’t just feel right abeg. Anyway- back to the matter:
After all else had failed, I decided to go to my tried and tested, trusty kinky twists. I felt that if my hair wanted to be rebellious and squeeze through, it wouldn’t be so out of place in kinky twists. Right? Wrong again.
My hair I realise, is squeezing out, not just because it’s kinky/curly/nappy, but also because it’s short. I don’t know if this makes sense to you. Until my hair is longer, I’ve been advised to stick to small sized braids.
This has been a long long rant, so let me just recap my lessons for you today.
1. DON’T BE SPONTANEOUS
Or should I say, DON’T BE IN A HURRY TO MAKE A HAIR DECISION.
Not to be obsessive or anything, but you always have to do a little research, ask a few questions. Don’t get giddy off what you see others doing, especially when they don’t have the same texture as you do.
2. DON’T WALK INTO JUST ANY SALON TO GET YOUR HAIR DONE!!
Not many people know how to cut hair, it is quite an art, this, I have learnt the hard way. So please, even if you have to cross the seven mountains and seven seas, or wait a while, don’t trust just anyone with your hair. If you have a steady hand, and you’ve done it before, you might do a better job than just any person who calls himself a barber or a stylist.
3. KINKY HAIR IS CURLY AND LOVES TO WIGGLE…
4. BE PATIENT
It might seem like a lot of work, but that’s why this is a journey, that’s why it’s between your hair and you- learning what it likes. The next time you’re in a fix, rather than trying to go the hasty road, think about how you can learn something from this. For instance, I’ve realised that if I got an afro comb, I would probably find combing my hair slightly easier in the mornings.
From your mistakes, from other people’s. So please don’t do the sme-sme I’ve been doing.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
My hair’s been growing though, since my poor poor trim in July. It’s not doing too badly, but I’m trying to keep it under for a while. It doesn’t look as bad as it did in the beginning, but the fro’s a little too one-sided. It sways to the left. Lol. Would go get a proper trim by a proper stylist, when I go home for the holidays, so I can really get this journey started!!!
Ah well. Better hair days ahead. I believe this! I can do this!!
P.S. Has anyone had any bad experiences, or discovered any good ways to manage their hair post big chop? If yes, please sound off in the comments! x