What 22 Taught Me

Hello loves! 

How are you today?

It was my birthday yesterday and I had a good day. Thank you for all the very many wishes on Instagram! (And Twiduur & Facebook) 😀

I’m 23 now whoop whoooop, and it does feel good. I’m not too too worried about “growing old” anymore lol, maturing is really something to embrace. 22 was a very somehow year with its ups and downs. Things did not happen as I thought they would, and even now, I don’t feel like I have my shit entirely together however- I don’t think I’m supposed to at this point. It’s a process right? 

In honour of the process and the birthday, I just thought I’d share some of the notes to self I made in the past year- realisations, observations, reminders and stuff.



1. Drink tea! Please do. There are like a bajillion blends of tea in the world, there has to be something that matches your vibes. Tea is a recent habit, and it makes me so happy. I make a song and dance of it and this makes me feel grown up, fancy and cared for, like I’m giving myself a treat. Currently loving on a sweet and spicy blend of predominantly Rooibos tea from Good Earth. I like to squeeze a lemon or two limes into my tea. The other day, one lime, but I threw in an orange slice, with the rind still on. Amazingly flavourful, it made my day. Stuntin’ tea drinking is a habit, get like me!
2. By avoiding an awkward situation, you just make it even more awkward. LOL
3. Good music don’t live on TV no more. These music channels can be like black holes, sucking up your time and for what? Pssh.
4. Before I used to wonder- ugh why do people honk so much? Environmental pollution, it’s rude, etc etc. Well now I know for a fact that honking in present day Lagos is a very essential language, the only one some people understand! 
5. The life I want is mine to create. The freedom to be, my independence, peace of mind, nobody is going to (want to) give me that. I have to take it.
6. Let the world have its own way and its own beliefs. They’ve got nothing to do with me. World over, most particularly in these parts, people (especially people that are not women) have a lot to say about what women should do, who we should be, how far we can go. Don’t listen to them, these days I don’t even bother to engage. The woman you want to be is entirely up to you to decide.
7. The only way to do it is to DO it. Don’t overthink, just get in there, tell yourself that this thing has to be done.
8. You can’t change anybody but it is actually possible for people to change on their own- so communicate. Be very clear about what you are about, and what you are willing to take. People will do what you let them, so know what you allow and what you don’t.
9. A “friend” that has never been to your house (even though they live in the same city as you) is actually not your friend.
10. Don’t spend money that hasn’t entered your hand yet. ( ._.)
11. I need to be more responsible with my finances. If I can’t account for 10,000 naira properly, how do I know that I’ll be better with 1 million? Girls need to start making wise decisions, saving & investing. 
12. Is there really such a thing as a self-made person (in the way that we rap about it)- built from scratch? I read Malcolm Gladwell’s ‘Outliers’ back in 2012 but I’ve had cause to reflect on it in the last few months. The story of success is never about just one person, is it? There’s a lot to draw on from the people around you, and I’m not talking about money. Point is, let people help you. It’s good to give, but learning to receive won’t kill you either. If you have a connection to something or someone, use it. Nobody can make YOU. Our help comes from the Lord, but he isn’t going to come down and work things out for you- he will use human beings. Dangote may have had help from his family when he started out, but that doesn’t make his story any less valid than the person with no shoes, or any sob-story of the Nollywood variety ( ._.) That helped, but it did NOT make him. It was an opportunity he made the best of, one many others have squandered. I know, it would sound good to say I did it all, by myself- super heroic, but maybe just maybe I’m not supposed to? And I really don’t think that’s an accurate account of anybody in this world. 
13. Yes you are very special- but if you’re one in a million, there are like 7000 people in this world of 7 billion, or 170 people in this country like you LOL- just be grateful for your opportunities.
14. Comparing your journey to another person’s is only going to make you miserable. 
15. You may not know what exactly you want to do with your life. Maybe you want to do 10 things, but you have to start somewhere. Choose one and give it your full attention. Nothing says you can’t move on. 
16. A giver is a giver, rich or poor. Giving doesn’t mean that you have plenty.
17. Take better care of yourself. Eat better, learn to exercise (I’m crying yo) because the way my habits (and my tummy) are set up, middle age spread will have no problem at all taking over me.
18. It’s okay to wallow and be sad, but don’t be there forever. Moping isn’t going to change your situation. Smiling will not solve the problem either lol, but what makes it more bearable? Yes my friend, stay on the bright side. It’s important.

Alright, I’m done. What lessons has life taught you lately? 

Love,

AB,

xx