Learning, Unlearning

January was a tough month for me.

It could have been worse- actually, some pretty good things came through for me this last week but, it wasn’t smooth sailing for the most part.

On January 2, I nearly had an accident. My right tyre’s ball joints gave out, so the tire dislocated. I had just begun to ascend a small flyover bridge, so thankfully, I wasn’t speeding. I was alone, it was kind of late, 8:30pm, and my night would have turned into a horrible story if it weren’t for one man, and a lovely couple that stopped to help me. My mom keeps telling me that Lagos is dangerous. She once said, “The day Lagos will show you ehnnn…” That night, Lagos nearly showed me. I was alone, and I had barely hopped into my deliverers’ car, when a good number of area boys surrounded my vehicle. Before we came back with a tow truck, more had joined. It was the makings of a crazy night. How would I have handled that on my own?

In Gratitude

Last week was kind of rough. I was in a very thick funk. Over the weekend, in my quiet moments, I was reminded that happiness is still a choice.

I wasn’t unhappy because I had malaria, or because the roads were extra extra stressful. It was because I was so focused on the bad.

A new week is here, and I’m determined to be happy in it, be thankful for it. Here are some of the things I’m happy about today:

1. In today’s traffic, I got to watch the Lagos sky light up, and it was beautiful.
2. Lagos traffic is theeee absolute wurst, (yes I said wurst!) but at least, I get to suffer it in some comfort.
3. The gift of music. Another thing that gets me through. 🙂
4. Good health is a gift, y’all. Last week I had malaria, but now I am well. When I was doing my chores on Saturday, my body was so happy to be moving, bending, doing things without feeling heavy, slow or woozy.
5. Family. My house is a busy place. Always a lot of people coming and going, though the permanent residents of the house are actually just 3. I may not like it all the time, but I’m thankful for them. Some people’s family stories are like Nollywood scripts, and many are too scared to really be around their own relatives and family friends.
6. Friendship.
7. All the love I have in my life. ❤
8. It’s my parents’ wedding anniversary! 24 years of marriage, and almost a decade before that! 🙂
9. MeeMee got her work visa approved! This is particularly amazing because she studied (and has fallen in love with) one of those things that would be useless in Nigeria, 2015. Not useless o, Nigeria needs people like her- but have you seen any openings for Bio-ethicists on Jobberman lately? It’s really wonderful that she gets to work in her chosen field. This gift is one so many people take for granted.
10. My cousin (he’s 13 months old) is finally learning to trust his own two legs and I’m finding it so amazing to watch. :’)
11. My favourite song at the moment- Applaudise by Iyanya. I’ve played it so much, my CD will soon scratch, haha! 

Over to you. What are you thankful for?

You don’t have to share it with me, but I’d like you to make your own list too. 🙂

Love,

AB,

xx

What 22 Taught Me

Hello loves! 

How are you today?

It was my birthday yesterday and I had a good day. Thank you for all the very many wishes on Instagram! (And Twiduur & Facebook) 😀

I’m 23 now whoop whoooop, and it does feel good. I’m not too too worried about “growing old” anymore lol, maturing is really something to embrace. 22 was a very somehow year with its ups and downs. Things did not happen as I thought they would, and even now, I don’t feel like I have my shit entirely together however- I don’t think I’m supposed to at this point. It’s a process right? 

In honour of the process and the birthday, I just thought I’d share some of the notes to self I made in the past year- realisations, observations, reminders and stuff.



1. Drink tea! Please do. There are like a bajillion blends of tea in the world, there has to be something that matches your vibes. Tea is a recent habit, and it makes me so happy. I make a song and dance of it and this makes me feel grown up, fancy and cared for, like I’m giving myself a treat. Currently loving on a sweet and spicy blend of predominantly Rooibos tea from Good Earth. I like to squeeze a lemon or two limes into my tea. The other day, one lime, but I threw in an orange slice, with the rind still on. Amazingly flavourful, it made my day. Stuntin’ tea drinking is a habit, get like me!
2. By avoiding an awkward situation, you just make it even more awkward. LOL
3. Good music don’t live on TV no more. These music channels can be like black holes, sucking up your time and for what? Pssh.
4. Before I used to wonder- ugh why do people honk so much? Environmental pollution, it’s rude, etc etc. Well now I know for a fact that honking in present day Lagos is a very essential language, the only one some people understand! 
5. The life I want is mine to create. The freedom to be, my independence, peace of mind, nobody is going to (want to) give me that. I have to take it.
6. Let the world have its own way and its own beliefs. They’ve got nothing to do with me. World over, most particularly in these parts, people (especially people that are not women) have a lot to say about what women should do, who we should be, how far we can go. Don’t listen to them, these days I don’t even bother to engage. The woman you want to be is entirely up to you to decide.
7. The only way to do it is to DO it. Don’t overthink, just get in there, tell yourself that this thing has to be done.
8. You can’t change anybody but it is actually possible for people to change on their own- so communicate. Be very clear about what you are about, and what you are willing to take. People will do what you let them, so know what you allow and what you don’t.
9. A “friend” that has never been to your house (even though they live in the same city as you) is actually not your friend.
10. Don’t spend money that hasn’t entered your hand yet. ( ._.)
11. I need to be more responsible with my finances. If I can’t account for 10,000 naira properly, how do I know that I’ll be better with 1 million? Girls need to start making wise decisions, saving & investing. 
12. Is there really such a thing as a self-made person (in the way that we rap about it)- built from scratch? I read Malcolm Gladwell’s ‘Outliers’ back in 2012 but I’ve had cause to reflect on it in the last few months. The story of success is never about just one person, is it? There’s a lot to draw on from the people around you, and I’m not talking about money. Point is, let people help you. It’s good to give, but learning to receive won’t kill you either. If you have a connection to something or someone, use it. Nobody can make YOU. Our help comes from the Lord, but he isn’t going to come down and work things out for you- he will use human beings. Dangote may have had help from his family when he started out, but that doesn’t make his story any less valid than the person with no shoes, or any sob-story of the Nollywood variety ( ._.) That helped, but it did NOT make him. It was an opportunity he made the best of, one many others have squandered. I know, it would sound good to say I did it all, by myself- super heroic, but maybe just maybe I’m not supposed to? And I really don’t think that’s an accurate account of anybody in this world. 
13. Yes you are very special- but if you’re one in a million, there are like 7000 people in this world of 7 billion, or 170 people in this country like you LOL- just be grateful for your opportunities.
14. Comparing your journey to another person’s is only going to make you miserable. 
15. You may not know what exactly you want to do with your life. Maybe you want to do 10 things, but you have to start somewhere. Choose one and give it your full attention. Nothing says you can’t move on. 
16. A giver is a giver, rich or poor. Giving doesn’t mean that you have plenty.
17. Take better care of yourself. Eat better, learn to exercise (I’m crying yo) because the way my habits (and my tummy) are set up, middle age spread will have no problem at all taking over me.
18. It’s okay to wallow and be sad, but don’t be there forever. Moping isn’t going to change your situation. Smiling will not solve the problem either lol, but what makes it more bearable? Yes my friend, stay on the bright side. It’s important.

Alright, I’m done. What lessons has life taught you lately? 

Love,

AB,

xx

Here’s What’s New!

Hey guys,

Long time no speak!

It’s not that we just forgot about the blog o. This adulting/ trying to adult thing isn’t easy. Why did nobody tell us????

This is me being overly dramatic, life is not that hard, but it’s taking some adjusting to.

1. Cheers to New Beginnings!

Your girls have finally started working full time, with stable 9-5s, or in my case, 8 to 6 or so soon thereafter as my Oga deems fit.This is awesome, it feels like NOW our career journeys have officially begun. Help us thank the Lord! 🙂 I think my face is reacting to the change in the worst way, but hopefully we will stabilise soon. MeeMee graduated with the highest honours two weeks ago, I’m so- I’m so- I’m so proud of her!

Checking In :)

Hello people!

Long time no speak!

What’s good? How have you been?

It’s been a while since we were really here (we’ve been busier than usual, with not that much hairy business to report. In my less busy moments, I have been held captive at Westeros. Yes, I finally started Game of Thrones after much begging and it really is as awesome as they said! Currently begging MeeMee to join me, because friends don’t keep good things from friends!)

So. Really briefly here’s what I’ve been up to. If you’re on my Insta, Twitter and okay, Snapchat, this is probably no news but just stay with me for a recap.

1. Remember my Wash N’ Go? I wore it for 5 days in total and detangling was not a deadly endeavour! Here’s what it looked like on the last day. A super shrunken, kinda curly fro. I loved it. On this day, I left the house with very crispy hair, and came back with super soft hair, thanks to Lagos humidity! Don’t let anybody tell you that our weather is the reason your hair can’t flourish. It is a lie.

2. Two Three Saturdays ago, I made a video with Vlogger MemsNaij. I was kinda apprehensive about the whole thing (making videos is not as easy as it looks) and I’m really awkward and shy in front of a camera LOL but I did it anyway- she asked me questions, I answered- I’ll put it up when it’s on her channel. It was fun still, because Meme is a really sweet person. It was our first meeting, and not awkward at all! Do check out her channel, danke! 🙂

Happy People! 😀

2. On the same day, this really cute sheabutter cup was delivered to me, courtesy Dabs of Naija Hair Can Grow/ Savvy Chic Hair Beauty Hub. It’s so cute! She currently offers 6 different flavours, and I chose the Chocolate mint cup. Shea butter is sheabutter right? I don’t mind the smell of raw sheabutter, but I know there are many people who do. If you’re in this category and even if you’re not, get yourself a pretty sheabutter cup. Details here 🙂

3. Remember Big Betty? I resurrected my Nazuri Curls extensions and sewed one bundle and a half onto a wig cap.

My very first wig, so I made many mistakes and I was too busy with it, I didn’t have time to take photos of the process. It’s not perfect (I could do an entire post about the mistakes but where’s the fun in that?) but regardless, it’s still fun to wear. Structural shambles but it looks okay. Lagos is so bluddy hot right now. l love that I can put my shakara on when I feel like. I’ve been told that it’s too big and too fluffy for a formal environment so- my wig rests on her mannequin for now.

4. I’ve been trying out some African Naturalistas products. Can you guess which? Full review coming this week! 😉

5. Now, for a long time I’ve felt like my hair has not been growing. I don’t know if it’s part of the awkward phase but I’ve been here for quite a while na, isn’t it time for me to move on? I did a mini length check and I observed that my hair has grown a litttttle bit in the last two months. Just a little, but a ray of hope still! About an inch in the front, I didn’t use a ruler or measuring tape. Then again, I did quite a bit of combing this weekend so… maybe I lost that inch I gained. I don’t know. *face palm*

6. Last Tuesday, here’s how I wore my hair. This is a cinnabun right?

7. A Puff on Wednesday

Front camera x Stuck in traffic

8. Wearing bantu knots in public is (was?) on my list of Hair Goals, I’m serious. On Wednesday night, I put my hair in bantu knots. The next morning I just didn’t feel like undoing them, so I let my inner Agbonma/ Angelina out. I wore it to get froyo with the lovely Bids of bidsingraceland.com, and that was fun. 🙂 I didn’t notice any particularly strange stares, and I got no complaints at home, so I think bantu knots are a legit outdoor hairstyle, moving forward. Do you wear them out?

That’s all from me guys. I’ll be getting box braids done today or sometime this week. What have you been up to? I want to know! 😀

Love,

AB,

xx