What 22 Taught Me

Hello loves! 

How are you today?

It was my birthday yesterday and I had a good day. Thank you for all the very many wishes on Instagram! (And Twiduur & Facebook) 😀

I’m 23 now whoop whoooop, and it does feel good. I’m not too too worried about “growing old” anymore lol, maturing is really something to embrace. 22 was a very somehow year with its ups and downs. Things did not happen as I thought they would, and even now, I don’t feel like I have my shit entirely together however- I don’t think I’m supposed to at this point. It’s a process right? 

In honour of the process and the birthday, I just thought I’d share some of the notes to self I made in the past year- realisations, observations, reminders and stuff.

  1. Drink tea! Please do. There are like a bajillion blends of tea in the world, there has to be something that matches your vibes. Tea is a recent habit, and it makes me so happy. I make a song and dance of it and this makes me feel grown up, fancy and cared for, like I’m giving myself a treat. Currently loving on a sweet and spicy blend of predominantly Rooibos tea from Good Earth. I like to squeeze a lemon or two limes into my tea. The other day, one lime, but I threw in an orange slice, with the rind still on. Amazingly flavourful, it made my day. Stuntin’ tea drinking is a habit, get like me!
  2. By avoiding an awkward situation, you just make it even more awkward. LOL
  3. Good music don’t live on TV no more. These music channels can be like black holes, sucking up your time and for what? Pssh.
  4. Before I used to wonder- ugh why do people honk so much? Environmental pollution, it’s rude, etc etc. Well now I know for a fact that honking in present day Lagos is a very essential language, the only one some people understand! 
  5. The life I want is mine to create. The freedom to be, my independence, peace of mind, nobody is going to (want to) give me that. I have to take it.
  6. Let the world have its own way and its own beliefs. They’ve got nothing to do with me. World over, most particularly in these parts, people (especially people that are not women) have a lot to say about what women should do, who we should be, how far we can go. Don’t listen to them, these days I don’t even bother to engage. The woman you want to be is entirely up to you to decide.
  7. The only way to do it is to DO it. Don’t overthink, just get in there, tell yourself that this thing has to be done.
  8. You can’t change anybody but it is actually possible for people to change on their own- so communicate. Be very clear about what you are about, and what you are willing to take. People will do what you let them, so know what you allow and what you don’t.
  9. A “friend” that has never been to your house (even though they live in the same city as you) is actually not your friend.
  10. Don’t spend money that hasn’t entered your hand yet. ( ._.)
  11. I need to be more responsible with my finances. If I can’t account for 10,000 naira properly, how do I know that I’ll be better with 1 million? Girls need to start making wise decisions, saving & investing. 
  12. Is there really such a thing as a self-made person (in the way that we rap about it)- built from scratch? I read Malcolm Gladwell’s ‘Outliers’ back in 2012 but I’ve had cause to reflect on it in the last few months. The story of success is never about just one person, is it? There’s a lot to draw on from the people around you, and I’m not talking about money. Point is, let people help you. It’s good to give, but learning to receive won’t kill you either. If you have a connection to something or someone, use it. Nobody can make YOU. Our help comes from the Lord, but he isn’t going to come down and work things out for you- he will use human beings. Dangote may have had help from his family when he started out, but that doesn’t make his story any less valid than the person with no shoes, or any sob-story of the Nollywood variety ( ._.) That helped, but it did NOT make him. It was an opportunity he made the best of, one many others have squandered. I know, it would sound good to say I did it all, by myself- super heroic, but maybe just maybe I’m not supposed to? And I really don’t think that’s an accurate account of anybody in this world. 
  13. Yes you are very special- but if you’re one in a million, there are like 7000 people in this world of 7 billion, or 170 people in this country like you LOL- just be grateful for your opportunities.
  14. Comparing your journey to another person’s is only going to make you miserable. 
  15. You may not know what exactly you want to do with your life. Maybe you want to do 10 things, but you have to start somewhere. Choose one and give it your full attention. Nothing says you can’t move on. 
  16. A giver is a giver, rich or poor. Giving doesn’t mean that you have plenty.
  17. Take better care of yourself. Eat better, learn to exercise (I’m crying yo) because the way my habits (and my tummy) are set up, middle age spread will have no problem at all taking over me.
  18. It’s okay to wallow and be sad, but don’t be there forever. Moping isn’t going to change your situation. Smiling will not solve the problem either lol, but what makes it more bearable? Yes my friend, stay on the bright side. It’s important.

Alright, I’m done. What lessons has life taught you lately? 




27 thoughts on “What 22 Taught Me

  1. Thanks for sharing this, girl! I think life is really interesting because of things like this; learning, journeying, not knowing what’s gonna happen next.
    I want to start chronicling the things that I have learnt… Good to have as a reminder “set in stone”. Definitely one of the most important things I have learnt is #15. I have always said this even as a clueless 13 year old but I have only recently understood and imbibed it.

    Happy 23rd, b! May you be even more alert to life and learning this new year. Amin! :*


  2. You are on the right path my friend. I need to start writing life’s lessons down and stop letting life pass me by. #4, 11, 14 and 17 have been major for me this year. Have a fulfilling 23rd year babes.


  3. “even now, I don’t feel like I have my shit entirely together however- I don’t think I’m supposed to at this point.” You’re absolutely right. Very few people in their early twenties have things completely figured out.

    Meanwhile, I think I’m sharing this in today’s Lovely Links post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Awwwwn, please be my mentor,will you? First off, let me congratulate you on hitting the big 23. I want to thank you for this beautiful write up. I found strength in it to have faith and believe in myself. Nice one.


  5. For a young lady like yourself, you are perceptive and smart. I really do like that.Life is a never ending process. #12 made a lot of sense to me. Keep spreading the light in your own little way. Happy Belated Birthday and God bless you.


  6. Happy Belated Birthday! and thanks for these words of wisdom. They are reminders to older ones like myself. I hope you had a blast. Cheers!


  7. Yay!,Happy prosperous birthday to you!.God bless your new age.Welcome to the tea drinkers club,cheers!!!.Here’s some peppermint tea with lemon.I totally agree with everything said here.#11 got me.


  8. Happy belated birthday AB!
    Some very valid takeaways in this post.
    One thing life has taught me lately is things hardly go as planned; take it one day at a time, see the silver linings in the dark clouds life might float your way and walk/work through difficult days as best you can.

    Nigerian and Natural


  9. Yes, tea does make you feel cared for, green tea makes me feel very grown-up. I recently discovered raspberry lipton tea.

    It’s always nice to self-evaluate on birthdays. I hope Year 23 provides even more insight for you.

    It was lovely seeing you in traffic the other day 🙂


  10. Hiii Ekene! Oh my goodness…I cannot get over number 9. My folks used to say that a lot while we were growing up and I just realised it’s true…I always assumed you were older, maybe because you just strike me as really mature. I really liked this post and I hope you have a great year…


  11. This post AB, ypu penned plenty wisdom here. I also discovered the joys of tea late last year. Red berry tea, hibiscus, rooibos. God is good.
    Many of the points hit very close to home and I’ll just stop here before I pour out my gist online. Lol.
    Thanks for this


  12. Hi,
    I love your blog its so entertaining.
    Hmm, i jst started my full natural hair journey.
    I transitioned for a year so i have lots of hair on my head buh i dont know what to do it keep it growing.
    Please can you tell me the essential things i need to keep doing to make it fuller and longer.


  13. Pingback: June 2015 | bantsandrants

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